1
00:00:01,230 --> 00:00:07,309
What'll I do when you are far

2
00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:12,710
away and I am blue?

3
00:00:12,970 --> 00:00:18,589
What'll I do when I'm alone

4
00:00:18,590 --> 00:00:24,989
with only dreams of you

5
00:00:24,990 --> 00:00:27,410
that won't...

6
00:00:31,109 --> 00:00:32,830
What will I do?

7
00:00:42,141 --> 00:00:43,709
Oh,

8
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:50,849
that's

9
00:00:50,850 --> 00:00:52,050
better. Where's my fags?

10
00:00:52,810 --> 00:00:55,040
Do you know the damage they're doing to
you?

11
00:00:55,690 --> 00:00:57,190
Trace? Cobblers.

12
00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:01,529
You can pack up smoking, that's your
look out. Don't try and spoil one of my

13
00:01:01,530 --> 00:01:02,580
pleasures.

14
00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:07,980
Lovely.

15
00:01:10,290 --> 00:01:12,670
I bet you're dying for a fag, aren't
you?

16
00:01:12,671 --> 00:01:14,469
Not at all.

17
00:01:14,470 --> 00:01:15,489
No?

18
00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:18,320
So why are you chewing your nails down
your elbows then?

19
00:01:18,650 --> 00:01:20,450
Look at the state you've made of them.

20
00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:22,570
I've seen better nails in a coffee.

21
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:25,690
Excuse me, do you mind?

22
00:01:25,691 --> 00:01:29,029
It's very rude eating when people are
trying to have a fag.

23
00:01:29,030 --> 00:01:30,350
Why don't you just shut up?

24
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:35,369
Have you noticed that you've been eating
more since you packed up smoking?

25
00:01:35,370 --> 00:01:37,389
Because you've been half putting on
weight, Trace.

26
00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,050
No, I'm not. Yes, you are.

27
00:01:39,051 --> 00:01:42,869
You never used to be able to see your
knicker line in those trousers.

28
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:43,920
I can't now.

29
00:01:43,921 --> 00:01:47,149
Actually, I was going to get myself some
new drawers.

30
00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:49,070
In fact, I don't want to cross tomorrow.

31
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:51,720
I think I'll get myself some of those
skimpy ones.

32
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,190
They all look skimpy on you.

33
00:01:53,191 --> 00:01:58,809
He'll have to be in the afternoon. I'm
seeing my hypnotherapist in the morning.

34
00:01:58,810 --> 00:01:59,689
What's that?

35
00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:01,049
What are you packed up to say?

36
00:02:01,050 --> 00:02:03,640
I'm seeing Gerald for some general
psychotherapy.

37
00:02:04,390 --> 00:02:08,470
What? Well, there's no need to look like
that. Lots of people have it. Oh, yeah,

38
00:02:08,509 --> 00:02:10,009
lots of people who are bonkers.

39
00:02:10,970 --> 00:02:13,200
What goes on at this general therapy,
then?

40
00:02:14,070 --> 00:02:15,230
We sit in his office.

41
00:02:16,690 --> 00:02:18,330
And? And we talk.

42
00:02:19,550 --> 00:02:21,110
And? And that's it.

43
00:02:22,050 --> 00:02:23,470
What do you mean, that's it?

44
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,350
How much does that cost you?

45
00:02:26,810 --> 00:02:28,030
25 quid an hour.

46
00:02:28,730 --> 00:02:30,070
For just a cheque?

47
00:02:30,430 --> 00:02:31,650
You are bonkers.

48
00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:36,369
You don't cost that much to phone up
0898, son. He can have an air with Peter

49
00:02:36,370 --> 00:02:37,420
Python.

50
00:02:38,250 --> 00:02:40,360
Gerald's helped me. You don't
understand.

51
00:02:40,550 --> 00:02:41,930
Oh, I understand, all right.

52
00:02:42,110 --> 00:02:45,830
The bloke's a con man, Trey. No, he's
not. He's got proper qualifications.

53
00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:49,160
Oh, all right, then. So tell me how he's
helped you.

54
00:02:49,250 --> 00:02:50,750
What, so you can take the ride?

55
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:52,610
What? Go.

56
00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:57,540
The other day, we was talking about the
reason I needed to smoke.

57
00:02:57,541 --> 00:03:00,789
Was it because Daryl's banged up? Was it
because of money worries? Was it

58
00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:02,189
because you're living here?

59
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,470
Cheek. Oh, don't worry.

60
00:03:03,690 --> 00:03:05,430
I told him you've helped me cut down.

61
00:03:05,450 --> 00:03:07,500
You punt so many, I'm always running
out.

62
00:03:07,501 --> 00:03:11,109
Anyway, with Gerald at work today, it
couldn't have been any of those reasons,

63
00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:13,969
because I've been smoking heavy for
years, and Daryl's only been banged up

64
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:16,349
14 months, and we used to have money
coming out the walls when he was robbing

65
00:03:16,350 --> 00:03:17,400
banks.

66
00:03:17,510 --> 00:03:18,630
Clever old Gerald.

67
00:03:19,710 --> 00:03:21,570
Worked that all out on his own, did he?

68
00:03:22,090 --> 00:03:25,400
What's he got qualifications in? Staying
the bleeding obvious?

69
00:03:25,770 --> 00:03:30,069
If you listen, as I thought about it, I
realised that I started to smoke more

70
00:03:30,070 --> 00:03:31,870
every time we moved to a bigger house.

71
00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:34,920
So what you're saying is you're allergic
to big houses?

72
00:03:35,730 --> 00:03:39,989
Because I didn't know about Daryl's
sideline, unconsciously I was worrying

73
00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:41,250
where the money came from.

74
00:03:41,251 --> 00:03:45,269
I mean, we sold the house in Whipscross
for 120 grand and bought this place for

75
00:03:45,270 --> 00:03:46,650
three quarters of a million.

76
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:50,150
So? So all my worrying was down to
Daryl.

77
00:03:50,760 --> 00:03:54,310
Why couldn't he be honest and trust me
and have to tell me he was robbing

78
00:04:01,831 --> 00:04:08,499
Beryl, is there anything you regret
about when he was robbing banks?

79
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:09,550
Yeah.

80
00:04:10,140 --> 00:04:11,190
Getting caught.

81
00:04:11,191 --> 00:04:15,359
Don't you regret lying to me about where
the money for the house came from?

82
00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:16,410
I never lied.

83
00:04:16,540 --> 00:04:17,980
You told me it was a bank loan.

84
00:04:19,950 --> 00:04:23,080
Oh, yeah. I bet you and your mates had a
good laugh about that one.

85
00:04:23,290 --> 00:04:24,610
Oh, don't be stupid, Trace.

86
00:04:24,611 --> 00:04:28,269
How's me Rosie doing? Don't try and
change the subject. I want to know what

87
00:04:28,270 --> 00:04:32,170
didn't tell me about the bank. Oh, why?
What you could have done.

88
00:04:33,330 --> 00:04:35,070
I bet his wife knew what he was up to.

89
00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:38,110
I doubt it. He's in for bigamy.

90
00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:40,590
I don't think it's funny.

91
00:04:40,591 --> 00:04:42,869
What else is there you haven't told me
about?

92
00:04:42,870 --> 00:04:43,950
There's nothing else.

93
00:04:44,750 --> 00:04:45,800
Oh.

94
00:04:46,190 --> 00:04:48,720
Apart from the two kids I had by that
Filipino bird.

95
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:49,920
What? Yeah.

96
00:04:49,921 --> 00:04:53,639
I keep them in the cupboard under the
stairs. I'm sure they're moving about.

97
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:56,120
One big joke to you, innit? Well, I'm
frightened.

98
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:59,739
You didn't trust me enough to tell me
about an important part of your life.

99
00:04:59,740 --> 00:05:03,499
Don't say much for our relationship,
does it? Oh, Tracey, don't start making

100
00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:04,700
into something it's not.

101
00:05:04,701 --> 00:05:06,679
If I'd have told you, you'd have only
worried.

102
00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,159
A couple of hours late home from work
and you'd have been on the phone to the

103
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:10,779
old bill to see if I got away all right.

104
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:13,039
Well, if you'd told me, it wouldn't have
been as big a shock as when they turned

105
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:15,270
up to tell me you was going to be 12
years late.

106
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,730
My dinner ain't still in the oven, is
it?

107
00:05:17,731 --> 00:05:19,219
Could you?

108
00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:22,480
Look, I didn't tell you because I
thought that was for the best.

109
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:24,340
What good would it have done?

110
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:28,119
Well, I'd have known what was going on
and we could have spoke about it. I

111
00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,170
have stopped you.

112
00:05:29,171 --> 00:05:32,439
Look, I weren't bothered about having
loads of money.

113
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:35,779
I'd have been just as happy if you'd
been a porter down a fish market like

114
00:05:35,780 --> 00:05:37,239
dad. Well, I wouldn't have been.

115
00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:41,319
I didn't want to end up in a poxy pre
-fab in Poplar and having to stand down

116
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:42,370
with the bus queues.

117
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:46,960
Was it the money you did it for, or was
it...

118
00:05:47,820 --> 00:05:48,870
What?

119
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:56,000
Well, someone told me that some men
carry shotguns to make up for... You

120
00:05:56,001 --> 00:05:59,339
There's nothing lacking down there,
girl.

121
00:05:59,340 --> 00:06:01,279
Well, I don't know. I've only ever seen
you.

122
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,939
Just tell me what's got into you. Who's
been putting all this in your head?

123
00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:05,990
No one.

124
00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:14,990
Cheryl's wonderful.

125
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:19,379
He stopped me smoking, and now he's
opened my eyes to all sorts of things. I

126
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:21,160
honestly say he's changed my life.

127
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:22,839
You're not having one?

128
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:26,090
No. Every time I used to have a coffee,
I had a fag, so I avoid coffee.

129
00:06:27,140 --> 00:06:28,190
Associated craving.

130
00:06:28,191 --> 00:06:29,079
That's right.

131
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,080
I know quite a lot about psychotherapy.

132
00:06:31,720 --> 00:06:33,180
I've read Freud extensively.

133
00:06:33,780 --> 00:06:36,680
The workings of the human mind have
always fascinated me.

134
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:38,880
Stop biting your nail, Trey.

135
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,800
Don't worry, it'll pass.

136
00:06:41,801 --> 00:06:46,379
You're looking healthier already. This
psychotherapy has given you a glow.

137
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:48,610
That's down to the knickers being too
tight.

138
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:55,000
I think anyone who has psychotherapy
needs their head examined.

139
00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:59,070
Don't you find the whole subject
fascinating?

140
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:03,590
Fractionally less than watching
synchronised swimming.

141
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:07,859
I'm thinking of having no smoking areas
in this house. You'll only be allowed to

142
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:09,660
smoke in your bedroom and the garden.

143
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:10,930
Get out of here!

144
00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,720
I've got to have a smoke in the toilet
for a start.

145
00:07:14,030 --> 00:07:15,470
Can't go unless I've got a fag.

146
00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:20,610
Do you write down your dreams for Gerald
Tracy?

147
00:07:21,050 --> 00:07:22,970
Yes. Including the erotic ones?

148
00:07:23,650 --> 00:07:24,700
Yes.

149
00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:26,210
You don't.

150
00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:27,540
No, you have to.

151
00:07:27,810 --> 00:07:29,210
They're very revealing.

152
00:07:29,670 --> 00:07:33,749
Do you know, one thing that has always
worried me is that I never dream about

153
00:07:33,750 --> 00:07:34,800
sex.

154
00:07:34,950 --> 00:07:37,540
I'm not surprised, Dorian. You're at it
all the time.

155
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:42,590
The only time your body gets a rest from
it is when you're asleep.

156
00:07:43,020 --> 00:07:45,730
So come on then, what are these dreams
you're having?

157
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:47,490
The usual.

158
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,310
What's the usual?

159
00:07:50,060 --> 00:07:51,260
Everybody's different.

160
00:07:51,620 --> 00:07:54,820
The usual for me is two big airy
Cossacks and a bowl of coleslaw.

161
00:07:58,100 --> 00:07:59,440
Always the same, is it?

162
00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:00,970
No.

163
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,350
Sometimes there's three big airy
Cossacks.

164
00:08:04,580 --> 00:08:06,690
Do they ever have their horses with
them?

165
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:12,820
Come on, tell us then.

166
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,940
Well, it's just me and a bloke on a
beach.

167
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:18,120
Who's this bloke? Daryl.

168
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:19,900
Don't know, I can't see his face.

169
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:23,590
We've got to have a look one night,
Tracey.

170
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,960
Could be having fantasies about cranky
hours.

171
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,730
In which case, I was wrong, you do need
therapy.

172
00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,640
Not Gerald, is it?

173
00:08:33,919 --> 00:08:36,419
No. To be understandable, he's very good
looking.

174
00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:38,770
No, he's not. He's an old wrinkly.

175
00:08:39,570 --> 00:08:42,400
No, he isn't. I've met him. He's a
member of Marcus's Lodge.

176
00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:46,570
In a Robert Kilroy Silk look -alike
contest, he beat Robert Kilroy Silk.

177
00:08:47,550 --> 00:08:49,030
Who told you he was old?

178
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,220
She did.

179
00:08:52,570 --> 00:08:54,210
I'm very hurt, Tracy.

180
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:59,829
You're planning to have horizontal
aerobics where you have tricked cyclists

181
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,429
you ain't even told your own sister.

182
00:09:01,430 --> 00:09:02,750
I'm not planning anything.

183
00:09:03,250 --> 00:09:06,260
You told Daryl about your visit to
Gerald's then, have you?

184
00:09:07,170 --> 00:09:08,220
No, I thought not.

185
00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:09,660
Guilty conscience.

186
00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:13,949
It's not unusual, Tracy. I've read about
lots of cases where patients fall for

187
00:09:13,950 --> 00:09:14,829
their therapist.

188
00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:17,829
Look, just because you've read a few
books by Clement Floyd, it don't make

189
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:18,880
an expert on my mind.

190
00:09:19,190 --> 00:09:20,870
I don't want to get off with anyone.

191
00:09:57,670 --> 00:09:58,720
All right?

192
00:09:59,370 --> 00:10:00,420
Yeah.

193
00:10:00,770 --> 00:10:02,270
The word is you're a bit on edge.

194
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:03,800
Who told you that?

195
00:10:04,590 --> 00:10:08,020
Ronnie Thomas, after you threw him down
the stairs for saying hello.

196
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:11,240
Call me a bad time.

197
00:10:12,230 --> 00:10:13,280
What's that?

198
00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:16,909
Something to do with Tracy's visit, is
it? She seemed to be in a bit of a funny

199
00:10:16,910 --> 00:10:17,960
mood.

200
00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:20,350
It's none of my business, I know.

201
00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:23,440
I just thought you might like to talk
about it.

202
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,380
She started questioning me.

203
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:31,900
Criticising our relationship and...
other things.

204
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:39,099
Yeah. I saw the, uh... So, what...

205
00:10:39,100 --> 00:10:41,020
What do you reckon's up with her, then?

206
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:43,250
I don't know.

207
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,390
You don't think she's got another bloke,
do you?

208
00:10:46,391 --> 00:10:49,399
It would be the first thing you'd think
of, wouldn't it?

209
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,110
I'm not saying she has. Just saying it's
a possibility.

210
00:10:53,260 --> 00:10:54,700
Who do you reckon it is, then?

211
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:57,370
I mean, if she has.

212
00:10:57,970 --> 00:11:00,210
I don't know. It's normally someone you
know.

213
00:11:01,430 --> 00:11:02,690
Usually your best friend.

214
00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,050
You're all right there, though.

215
00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:07,420
Why's that?

216
00:11:08,430 --> 00:11:09,690
Well, I'm in here with you.

217
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:13,670
You are more fond of my slot bucket.

218
00:11:18,790 --> 00:11:21,390
I'll be really sorry if she's strained,
though.

219
00:11:21,670 --> 00:11:23,010
Yeah. Of course.

220
00:11:24,170 --> 00:11:25,220
I know how it feels.

221
00:11:25,221 --> 00:11:29,349
I remember when I first found out Sharon
was putting it at that, I was gutted.

222
00:11:29,350 --> 00:11:30,790
Tracy ain't like your Sharon.

223
00:11:31,010 --> 00:11:32,060
No, no.

224
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:33,440
No comparison.

225
00:11:34,350 --> 00:11:36,940
I reckon Sharon started with the usher
at our trial.

226
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:40,570
Your Tracy's now that much longer.

227
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:42,790
I've done over certain she has straight.

228
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:46,969
I ain't been stuck in this bleeding
place. You've done over certain what's

229
00:11:46,970 --> 00:11:48,020
on on the outside.

230
00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:49,720
You feel so...

231
00:11:52,460 --> 00:11:55,230
Yeah, well, that's down to the stuff
they put in the tea.

232
00:11:55,231 --> 00:11:59,499
So what are you going to do, then?
That's my business.

233
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,239
Look, you don't want to let Trace get
away with it. I made that mistake. I

234
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:05,120
you. I don't know if I'm sure she has
got another bloke.

235
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,260
She's given up smoking.

236
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:10,570
Her being right here, I mean, could be
down to that.

237
00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:12,290
Yeah.

238
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,150
Might.

239
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,650
Yeah, it's possible.

240
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:17,130
Yeah.

241
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:18,970
It's possible.

242
00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:20,560
Do you want to eat this pork?

243
00:12:20,620 --> 00:12:22,160
Calm. Down, down.

244
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,970
I reckon there's every chance she is
straight, honest.

245
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:28,480
But put yourself in a similar situation.

246
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:34,999
Imagine a governor's secretary walked
into your cell tonight in the nude and

247
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,050
said, have me.

248
00:12:36,140 --> 00:12:37,280
I'd smack his head in.

249
00:12:41,980 --> 00:12:43,030
No.

250
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:48,380
Before that, Mr Walker took over. Hey,
imagine it's still that Miss Crookshank.

251
00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,150
What would you do?

252
00:12:53,530 --> 00:12:54,790
I'd have her, wouldn't I?

253
00:12:55,110 --> 00:12:56,160
Oh, yeah?

254
00:12:56,470 --> 00:12:57,710
Yeah? Would you?

255
00:12:59,510 --> 00:13:00,770
Yeah, bloody well I would.

256
00:13:00,771 --> 00:13:04,309
You're trying to say my Tracy is putting
it about, aren't you?

257
00:13:04,310 --> 00:13:07,920
I wouldn't have suggested it, mate. I
laughed on her. Did you broke me jaw?

258
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:11,349
Stop taking me for some sort of mug.
That's exactly what you're suggesting in

259
00:13:11,350 --> 00:13:12,970
your nasty, weaselly little way.

260
00:13:12,971 --> 00:13:16,729
And if it turns out she ain't, I'll kick
you from one end of this neck to the

261
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:17,780
other.

262
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,060
It's the E numbers.

263
00:13:32,949 --> 00:13:34,150
Halitosis. Cigarettes.

264
00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:37,770
Unhealthy. Smoking.

265
00:13:39,710 --> 00:13:41,470
Smelly. Ashtrays.

266
00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:44,850
Dirty. Dorian.

267
00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:49,090
It's my neighbour, Dorian Green.

268
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:50,360
I think you know her.

269
00:13:50,361 --> 00:13:52,569
She says she met you at some lodge do or
something.

270
00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:55,520
I don't remember. Why did you think of
her when I said dirty?

271
00:13:55,730 --> 00:13:56,890
She's a bit of a trollop.

272
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,340
Dory and Green, yes, I know who you
mean.

273
00:14:02,090 --> 00:14:05,230
Is there anything in particular worrying
you at the moment?

274
00:14:05,231 --> 00:14:10,489
Daryl, well, I haven't told him about
seeing you and I don't know whether to

275
00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:11,540
not. Why?

276
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:13,670
I don't think he'd like it.

277
00:14:14,110 --> 00:14:15,550
He can get very jealous, see?

278
00:14:15,810 --> 00:14:19,609
Once at this football do, this full
-back got a bit forward, so he pushed

279
00:14:19,610 --> 00:14:20,810
face into the cheese dip.

280
00:14:21,650 --> 00:14:24,450
So you think that not telling him is
best to you?

281
00:14:24,750 --> 00:14:25,800
Yes.

282
00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:27,840
Oh, I don't know.

283
00:14:27,841 --> 00:14:29,709
You don't think I should, do you?

284
00:14:29,710 --> 00:14:31,270
You have to make your own mind up.

285
00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:35,820
Was it Daryl who helped you with your
problems in the past?

286
00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:40,109
Yeah. He wasn't much of a talker, but he
used to give me a hug and that made

287
00:14:40,110 --> 00:14:41,160
things seem better.

288
00:14:41,210 --> 00:14:42,350
Helped me sort them out.

289
00:14:44,340 --> 00:14:47,230
Can't do that now he's got himself sent
to prison, can he?

290
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,020
Can't you hug Sharon?

291
00:14:52,380 --> 00:14:53,430
Not really.

292
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,930
It wouldn't be right, would it? She's my
sister.

293
00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:57,420
Well, how about hugging me?

294
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:01,270
What?

295
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,080
Would it help if you were to hug me?

296
00:15:05,020 --> 00:15:06,070
It might.

297
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,220
Is that helping?

298
00:15:21,390 --> 00:15:22,440
Oh, yeah.

299
00:15:24,930 --> 00:15:26,610
I think I'd better tell Daryl.

300
00:15:39,550 --> 00:15:41,900
Daryl, there's something I've got to
tell you.

301
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:43,290
I'm seeing someone.

302
00:15:45,170 --> 00:15:46,220
Who is it?

303
00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:47,410
His name's Gerald.

304
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:49,860
I don't know any Gerald.

305
00:15:50,020 --> 00:15:51,560
He's a psychotherapist.

306
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:55,550
I don't care if he's the king of
Belgium. I'm not having shaft in my

307
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,020
What are you talking about?

308
00:15:58,240 --> 00:16:00,410
It's nothing like that. I'm having
therapy.

309
00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,620
Where? Up against his filing cabinets?

310
00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,100
We just sit and talk.

311
00:16:05,101 --> 00:16:08,039
You're having a laugh of me, aren't you,
Tracy?

312
00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:09,090
It's true.

313
00:16:09,091 --> 00:16:11,579
You swear on Garfield's life that's all
you do, talk?

314
00:16:11,580 --> 00:16:12,630
It is.

315
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:15,230
Apart from when he cuddled me the other
day.

316
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:16,730
Jesus.

317
00:16:16,731 --> 00:16:19,399
It's all part of the treatment. He's
like a doctor.

318
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:23,100
Yeah, and I bet you're on a repeat
prescription three times a day after

319
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:26,780
Honestly, it's nothing like that. He
helps me. He's understanding.

320
00:16:27,260 --> 00:16:30,659
Look, if you want to talk about
problems, talk to me. I'm bleeding

321
00:16:30,660 --> 00:16:31,710
understanding.

322
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:34,750
I think he's just turning you against
me.

323
00:16:35,300 --> 00:16:39,780
I bet it was him who told you about
the... ..shotgun business.

324
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:42,480
He likes talking dirty, does he?

325
00:16:42,481 --> 00:16:44,059
You're talking dirty.

326
00:16:44,060 --> 00:16:46,830
You have to talk about things to work
out your problems.

327
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:48,480
What else you talked about then?

328
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,910
Talk about when me and you was in bed,
do you?

329
00:16:51,300 --> 00:16:52,980
Yeah. You haven't.

330
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,330
What you told him?

331
00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,260
When it was good, when it was bad.

332
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:57,650
When was it bad?

333
00:16:59,260 --> 00:17:00,310
Sometimes.

334
00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,020
Well, it was your fault, girl.

335
00:17:03,100 --> 00:17:05,940
How good a sex I am, I've never done it
and not enjoyed it.

336
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:07,680
I don't understand.

337
00:17:07,681 --> 00:17:11,509
This geezer doesn't have to worry about
buying dirty books, does he? No. He's

338
00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:14,400
got you coming round once a week to give
him a cheap thrill.

339
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:19,149
If I catch your nose in my business
again... Jill's not like that, Daryl.

340
00:17:19,150 --> 00:17:21,490
kosher. He's got letters after his name.

341
00:17:21,491 --> 00:17:25,209
Gracie, half the perverts in here have
got letters after their name.

342
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,710
Like the prison psychiatrist.

343
00:17:26,849 --> 00:17:27,899
He's dodgy.

344
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:30,900
He puts everything down to the size of
your mum's knocker.

345
00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:34,400
If you're a nonce or a rapist, you went
funny because it was too big.

346
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:37,369
And if you're a thief, he started
nicking because they were too small. He

347
00:17:37,370 --> 00:17:40,369
thought it was missing out. I don't care
about the prison psychiatrist.

348
00:17:40,370 --> 00:17:43,169
Gerald's different. Gerald, I'm fed up
with hearing his name, Tracy.

349
00:17:43,170 --> 00:17:44,510
There's nothing going on.

350
00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:45,920
Can't you trust me?

351
00:17:45,921 --> 00:17:49,009
Look, I don't know whether you're up to
something with this geezer or whether

352
00:17:49,010 --> 00:17:50,549
you're just stupid. I don't want to
know.

353
00:17:50,550 --> 00:17:52,470
But I don't want you seeing him anymore.

354
00:17:52,590 --> 00:17:54,050
But, Daryl... That's it, Tracy.

355
00:17:54,310 --> 00:17:55,360
I mean it.

356
00:17:57,830 --> 00:17:58,880
That's TR, is it?

357
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:00,320
Yeah.

358
00:18:06,890 --> 00:18:07,940
All right, Trace.

359
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:17,630
Oh, sit down and have a fag, Trace. I
don't want a fag. I don't smoke.

360
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:20,250
Look, what did you expect Daryl to say?

361
00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:24,909
He's stuck inside and you're seeing a
Kilroy silk look -alike to talk about

362
00:18:24,910 --> 00:18:26,770
you most like to do between the sheets.

363
00:18:26,771 --> 00:18:30,729
He was hardly likely to recommend a good
hotel and give you a change for the

364
00:18:30,730 --> 00:18:31,930
Johnny machine, was he?

365
00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:35,310
But for the last time, nothing's
happened.

366
00:18:35,590 --> 00:18:36,640
No.

367
00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,140
but it adds in your age.

368
00:18:38,141 --> 00:18:42,239
Look, Daryl should be able to trust me.
Gerald says that's what marriage is all

369
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,940
about. Gerald says.

370
00:18:43,941 --> 00:18:47,619
Look, I'm starting to get worried about
you, you know.

371
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,960
This Gerald is controlling your mind.

372
00:18:50,340 --> 00:18:53,500
If you didn't fancy him so much, you
might be able to see it.

373
00:18:53,501 --> 00:18:54,639
Sharon's right.

374
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,500
You see Gerald as a crutch.

375
00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:58,200
Don't be so disgusting.

376
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,840
I'm talking about a psychological
crutch, someone to lean on.

377
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,730
Oh, here she goes again with her amateur
psychology.

378
00:19:05,731 --> 00:19:08,429
I don't... I don't even know what you're
doing here. It's none of your business,

379
00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:09,480
you nosy old cow.

380
00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:14,580
I'll make allowances, Tracy, because
you're upset.

381
00:19:15,370 --> 00:19:16,420
I'm not nosy.

382
00:19:16,421 --> 00:19:19,949
I'm merely showing concern and
compassion for a neighbour's problem.

383
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:23,189
Oh, so when you're using Marcus's
binoculars to spy on that woman over the

384
00:19:23,190 --> 00:19:26,589
who tied her window cleaner to the bed,
it's because of your concern and

385
00:19:26,590 --> 00:19:27,640
compassion, is it?

386
00:19:28,290 --> 00:19:30,030
No, that's professional interest.

387
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:33,570
Will you go in to phone Gerald?

388
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:34,840
He'll know what to do.

389
00:19:36,790 --> 00:19:37,840
Trace? Tracey?

390
00:19:39,890 --> 00:19:41,870
Trace, there's only one thing to do.

391
00:19:42,190 --> 00:19:44,540
You've got to kick this head doctor into
touch.

392
00:19:44,541 --> 00:19:48,009
Otherwise you're going to lose this,
this, Daryl, everything.

393
00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:50,510
But I can't stop seeing him. You don't
understand.

394
00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:53,720
He's given me confidence. He's
brightened up my life.

395
00:19:53,721 --> 00:19:56,989
At the risk of having my head bitten off
again, I can offer you another

396
00:19:56,990 --> 00:19:58,970
alternative. You lie.

397
00:19:58,971 --> 00:20:03,269
You tell Daryl that you've stopped
seeing Gerald and then you just carry on

398
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,199
you are.

399
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:07,870
He's hardly likely to come home early
and catch you at the surgery, is he?

400
00:20:08,020 --> 00:20:09,260
I don't want to lie.

401
00:20:09,261 --> 00:20:12,659
It's because of lies and deceit that my
husband's in prison. I want him to be

402
00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:15,260
able to trust me. I have to say that
being very naive.

403
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:16,610
Oh, it might be to you.

404
00:20:16,611 --> 00:20:20,039
You spend your life lying for your
dentures to that husband of yours.

405
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,899
Stick a pin in the phone book and it's
odds on it will land on someone you've

406
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:23,950
had an affair with.

407
00:20:23,951 --> 00:20:28,199
You are not my mother. You have no right
to talk to me like that. Oh, shut up!

408
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,170
Everyone round here knows you're the
most popular riot outside Dalton Towers.

409
00:20:43,550 --> 00:20:46,270
Well, she gets on my nerves. She's such
a slut.

410
00:20:46,271 --> 00:20:49,469
She's frightened to go about it for more
than 48 hours in case it goes out of

411
00:20:49,470 --> 00:20:50,520
fashion.

412
00:20:51,310 --> 00:20:53,480
Yeah, well, at least she's honest about
it.

413
00:20:54,130 --> 00:20:57,800
You keep going on about lying, but
you're the one who's lying to yourself.

414
00:20:57,801 --> 00:21:01,809
You've got the raging odds for this,
Gerald, but you won't admit it.

415
00:21:01,810 --> 00:21:04,909
So you're going around having a massive
conscience attack and making the rest of

416
00:21:04,910 --> 00:21:05,960
our lives a misery.

417
00:21:05,961 --> 00:21:08,749
Look, do me a favour, will you, Trace?

418
00:21:08,750 --> 00:21:12,240
Give Gerald a ring and arrange a quick
tumble. Get it out of your system.

419
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:14,570
Get back to normal.

420
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:29,330
Hello, Gerald.

421
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,770
It's Tracy.

422
00:21:31,140 --> 00:21:32,190
I've got to see you.

423
00:21:45,250 --> 00:21:46,300
Gerald. Ha!

424
00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:48,800
Lucy.

425
00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:50,200
You're early.

426
00:21:53,490 --> 00:21:56,310
This is very embarrassing.

427
00:21:57,590 --> 00:21:58,750
How can you smoke?

428
00:22:00,210 --> 00:22:01,830
I know, it's shocking, isn't it?

429
00:22:02,350 --> 00:22:04,460
Like Oliver Reed telling you not to
drink.

430
00:22:05,390 --> 00:22:06,440
Sorry.

431
00:22:07,210 --> 00:22:09,070
I've ordered some house white.

432
00:22:09,270 --> 00:22:10,350
I hope you like wine.

433
00:22:10,630 --> 00:22:11,680
Yeah, great.

434
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,440
Mind you, didn't get to drink it that
often.

435
00:22:14,441 --> 00:22:18,419
Daryl didn't like it, and Sharon only
gets us those cocktails with rude names

436
00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:20,650
and more umbrellas than a beach in
Mallorca.

437
00:22:20,651 --> 00:22:23,679
Don't you think you rely a little bit
too much on other people making your

438
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:24,730
choices for you?

439
00:22:24,860 --> 00:22:25,940
No, not at all.

440
00:22:25,941 --> 00:22:27,399
Would you like a sandwich or something?

441
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:28,600
Only if you're everyone.

442
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:33,780
Now that you've caught me smoking, do
you feel that I've let you down?

443
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:35,850
Don't be silly.

444
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,570
But I'm a hypocrite. You know it. Why
don't you tell me?

445
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:40,610
I don't want to.

446
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,050
Why not?

447
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,200
Can't we talk about Daryl? I'm worried.

448
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,440
You sounded upset on the phone.

449
00:22:48,060 --> 00:22:49,760
He says I've got to stop seeing you.

450
00:22:49,761 --> 00:22:52,399
Must be difficult for him, stuck in
prison.

451
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,159
Yeah, I know, but he hasn't even tried
to see my point of view.

452
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,399
He's just convinced that there's
something... Oh, that there's something

453
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,450
on between us.

454
00:23:02,900 --> 00:23:09,359
I don't usually meet my patients in a
wine bar, but I thought it might be best

455
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:10,410
for us.

456
00:23:10,540 --> 00:23:11,980
It's cosier than your office.

457
00:23:13,020 --> 00:23:14,160
Do you fancy me, Tracy?

458
00:23:16,220 --> 00:23:17,980
Yes. You know I do.

459
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,370
Do you fancy me?

460
00:23:21,420 --> 00:23:22,470
Do you want me to?

461
00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:25,090
Yes.

462
00:23:27,441 --> 00:23:30,379
It's going to be very difficult.

463
00:23:30,380 --> 00:23:32,439
No, it won't. Sharon goes out every
Friday.

464
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:35,819
It's going to be difficult for me to see
you again. In fact, I think it's going

465
00:23:35,820 --> 00:23:36,870
to be impossible.

466
00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,130
But why?

467
00:23:39,639 --> 00:23:44,019
This emotional dependency you've formed
on me is the last thing you need. It's

468
00:23:44,020 --> 00:23:45,820
best if we break it off straight away.

469
00:23:46,420 --> 00:23:49,020
But we get on so well. You understand
me.

470
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:50,480
I was just doing my job.

471
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:56,979
This sort of thing's not unusual. I have
20 patients and half of them are in

472
00:23:56,980 --> 00:23:58,030
love with me.

473
00:23:58,420 --> 00:23:59,500
Three of those are men.

474
00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:04,620
I'm going to refer you to another
therapist, Monica Graham.

475
00:24:05,340 --> 00:24:06,900
She'll be just as helpful to you.

476
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,980
Why? Good at cuddling, is she?

477
00:24:10,980 --> 00:24:12,030
I'd better go.

478
00:24:12,031 --> 00:24:14,879
Do I owe you anything for this session?

479
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:15,930
No, of course not.

480
00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:18,920
My car's outside. Can I drop you?

481
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,700
I thought you'd just done that.

482
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:34,280
Feeling any better, mate?

483
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,220
I will be when I've finished this.

484
00:24:36,221 --> 00:24:40,059
Look, getting paralytic drunk ain't
going to solve anything, Trace.

485
00:24:40,060 --> 00:24:41,059
Not this.

486
00:24:41,060 --> 00:24:42,110
This letter.

487
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:43,530
Oh.

488
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:47,750
Who are you writing to? The Association
of Edfeelers. Get old Gerald struck of.

489
00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,940
Would you like me to get you a glass?

490
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:53,600
Oh, no thanks. Tastes like neck.

491
00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:55,930
So,

492
00:24:56,100 --> 00:24:57,440
who's the letter to, then?

493
00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:58,910
Daryl.

494
00:24:59,020 --> 00:25:00,700
Saying your sorrys, are you? Yeah.

495
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,450
I feel really guilty for what I've put
him through.

496
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:06,530
Trace, it's nothing to go into sackcloth
and ashes for.

497
00:25:06,531 --> 00:25:09,859
You only thought about doing noughties.
Yes, but I'd have done more than think

498
00:25:09,860 --> 00:25:11,420
about it if Gerald had been game.

499
00:25:11,700 --> 00:25:13,260
But you're a woman on your own.

500
00:25:13,261 --> 00:25:16,799
Your juices are bound to get the better
of you now, aren't they?

501
00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:17,850
I know.

502
00:25:17,851 --> 00:25:20,879
I don't think I'm going to be able to go
about a man until Daryl gets that.

503
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,680
I really used to enjoy sex.

504
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:27,010
Lean up against that washing machine
when it's on spin, ain't no substitute.

505
00:25:28,580 --> 00:25:30,080
Now the tumble dryer's better.

506
00:25:30,081 --> 00:25:34,319
You ain't going to put that in that
letter to Daryl, are you?

507
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:38,139
No. Well, not about being desperate for
it, but I am going to tell him the old

508
00:25:38,140 --> 00:25:39,190
truth about Gerald.

509
00:25:39,220 --> 00:25:41,080
Harry was right about me fancying him.

510
00:25:41,700 --> 00:25:42,750
Are you serious?

511
00:25:42,940 --> 00:25:43,990
Yes.

512
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:46,430
What do you think is the best way to put
it?

513
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,300
Leave a big blank page.

514
00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:53,460
You tell Daryl that, it could send him
right over the top.

515
00:25:53,461 --> 00:25:57,359
He'd be ready to believe you're having
an affair with anyone from Dutty to

516
00:25:57,360 --> 00:25:58,410
Julian Cleary.

517
00:25:58,411 --> 00:26:02,099
But I want to tell him the truth. After
the way I had to go at him about the

518
00:26:02,100 --> 00:26:03,840
banks, I'd be an hypocrite if I lied.

519
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:05,610
Don't be so sick, Trace.

520
00:26:05,990 --> 00:26:08,190
It's lies what make the world go round.

521
00:26:08,630 --> 00:26:09,770
I thought that was love.

522
00:26:10,690 --> 00:26:13,640
You've been reading too many Barbara
Cartlands, you have.

523
00:26:14,190 --> 00:26:16,610
It's when people stop lying the trouble
begins.

524
00:26:16,990 --> 00:26:18,040
That's not true.

525
00:26:18,210 --> 00:26:22,630
Gerald said... Listen, you're going
round Dorian to apologise later, aren't

526
00:26:22,890 --> 00:26:24,950
Yeah. What are you going to say?

527
00:26:25,230 --> 00:26:30,290
Something like, sorry, Dorian, I was
wrong. You're not a nosy old scrubber.

528
00:26:30,510 --> 00:26:32,410
Yeah, something like that.

529
00:26:33,150 --> 00:26:34,730
But she is a nosy old scrubber.

530
00:26:35,770 --> 00:26:36,830
So you'll be lying.

531
00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:42,489
Listen, Trace, you tell Daryl the truth,
all you're going to do is upset him and

532
00:26:42,490 --> 00:26:44,070
cause you both a load more grief.

533
00:26:44,071 --> 00:26:48,789
Whereas if you say this Gerald was a bit
of a chancer and you showed him the red

534
00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:50,290
card, it'd be smiles all round.

535
00:26:53,890 --> 00:26:54,940
He's a good girl.

536
00:26:55,310 --> 00:26:56,510
You know, it makes sense.

537
00:26:56,511 --> 00:27:02,559
started smoking again, are you? Yeah.
All that going about's doing is giving

538
00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:05,039
the ump and nails that look like I've
been digging coal.

539
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,360
I thought you'd be pleased.

540
00:27:06,361 --> 00:27:07,699
Of course not.

541
00:27:07,700 --> 00:27:09,260
I was going to pack it in with you.

542
00:27:09,860 --> 00:27:13,919
All they do is make you smell like an
old ashtray, ruin your elf and cost a

543
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:14,970
fortune.

544
00:27:15,740 --> 00:27:17,340
Okay, then. We'll both stop.

545
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:18,770
Yep.

546
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,610
All you need is a little bit of
willpower.

547
00:27:22,660 --> 00:27:25,920
We don't need no therapist putting the
fluence on us, eh, Trace?

548
00:27:34,060 --> 00:27:35,680
Just have one last one, shall we?

549
00:27:39,860 --> 00:27:46,139
What do I do when you are far

550
00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:47,520
away?

551
00:27:48,260 --> 00:27:52,559
Get ready for more cackles than a hyena
on laughing gas. More giggles than a

552
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,460
naughty kid in a sweet shop. More
laughter than a... Whatever.

553
00:27:56,461 --> 00:27:59,989
Anyway, basically, it's the Kenny
Everett television show after the break.

554
00:27:59,990 --> 00:28:04,540
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